Forever Jung

The years, of which I have spoken to you, when I pursued the inner images, were the most important time of my life. Everything else is to be derived from this. It began at that time, and the later details hardly matter anymore. My entire life consisted in elaborating what had burst forth from the unconscious and flooded me like an enigmatic stream and threatened to break me. That was the stuff and material for more than only one life. Everything later was merely the outer classification, the scientific elaboration, and the integration into life. But the numinous beginning, which contained everything, was then. --C.G. Jung

une belle petite fleur

vous êtes une belle fleur.
dérivant dans la mer.
qui allez-vous ramasser
et vous apporter à votre amour?

you are a beautiful flower
drifting in the sea
who will scoop you up
and bring you to your love?

oh, précieuse petite fleur
dérivant dans la mer.
qui va pendre votre coeur
et vous ramener à moi?

oh, precious little flower
drifting in the sea.
who will catch your heart
and bring you back to me?

Meet Me Halfway

The Dream:

We were in a fairly busy food court. As I spoke with Thomas, Guy joined us and sat next to me. Why did he sit next to me, I thought to myself wildly. He's Thomas's right-hand man. It took everything I had not to gaze at him. I tried to act casually as I continued my conversation with his best friend and counterpart, but all of my attention--everything in my being--was focused on Guy. Possibly sensing this, the exchange with Thomas dwindled, and I soon found myself relatively alone with Guy. We seemed to have our own conversation simply by sitting next to one another. We had not touched or looked at one another directly, yet we both conveyed love and understanding. Inwardly I yearned to hear him speak to me--to ask me to see him again. Outwardly I busied myself with my phone. My ego began to chide. It denied that he'd even sensed my wishes. Ego lashed at me, "Why would he want to be with you? You're no one. He doesn't even know you exist. See how he has ignored you?" Instead of fear, I gave love to ego. Before ego could jibe again, he spoke:

"Can you meet me in Missouri?" He turned to me ever so slightly so I could see his profile.
"Hm?" I perked up, frozen, but elated that he asked me to meet him. Missouri? As in halfway to LA?
"Can you meet me halfway?" Ah, not halfway literally...

Can you meet me halfway? Of course I can! I didn't answer aloud. Instead I let my head fall to his shoulder. He wore a beat up brown leather jacket that felt like love. It was so comforting I snuggled into his arm. He snuggled a little himself as an acknowledgment of my answer. We still had not seen each others' eyes. There was no need. We sat there together with love, oblivious to the rest of the world.


The Reflection:

• I seem to be communicating more often in my dreams without speaking. Last night's dream was more of a conveyance with hope of reciprocation, which happened.
• My confidence in unconditional love is growing. I'm catching myself more before making negative comments or having negative thoughts. It's more congruous to re-frame a situation and avoid negativity. It's easier to feel love than hate. And I'm very happy to have feelings of unconditional love for the day because of a dream.
• My thoughts of Guy have changed since the pregnancy. I see him more as an equal to convey love to, instead of placing him above me. We are all equal, just different.
• Can you meet me halfway? Does this have meaning? Or was it just a device of the dream? I'll think on it today and see where it goes.

There is Still Love

This is the second week that I've had "love" dreams. I woke up feeling very loved and capable of loving.

First, I dreamed I was dreaming. In that dream speech and sound didn't exist. There was feeling. I could still see, though, so who I saw was a man similar to Nick Andros (Rob Lowe), but younger and more vibrant. There was love; Oh, there was love! We were both so gentle. When I awoke, the world was different. He looked different physically, but he was the same inside. Now he resembled someone I knew from high school, but still did not speak or hear. At first I lamented that he wasn't the same, but then I realized that love is still love no matter how you appear. I still had a connection to him. There was still love.

On the way to work I had a moment of recognition: T and I are connected. We're travelers. We're the pair of geese in the morning sky. We're quite capable of that gentle love, if only we'd notice it.

This Blog's Purpose

When I began this writing blog a few years ago, I wasn't sure what I intended to find. Was I looking for myself? Was I looking for answers? Was I looking for other people who felt the same way? Did I want to help others to understand themselves? I assumed if I put several focused thoughts in one place, that they would somehow manifest an answer that I didn't know I was looking for. Pretty vague, eh? It's easy to see now that I wasn't specific in my request, so of course I wasn't going to get a specific answer. As of two years after the blog started, I do not have one follower or even a comment. I'm aware of only two people who have ever read an entry, and I didn't even receive a confirmation of what they may have read or thought of the blog.

To put it plainly, this blog is a hot mess.

I now have a better understanding of manifestation, so instead of throwing thoughts to the universe, I need to have a goal visualized.

At the End of the Day

I feel in-between. I'm mentally weary from a day's work and need to wind down. I feel no urge to absorb information. Now is a time for rest and processing. I would like to experience something familiar, not new. I think I have the perfect music in mind for the drive home.

I am comforted to simply be.

Blind to Yourself

“Your prevailing characteristic is hidden. You act on it without seeing that you’re acting on it.”

This is why I have trouble defining all but the most general characteristics of myself. I know I'm introverted, intelligent, funny, caring, and emotional...but nothing defining comes to mind such as "caretaker, artist, lover." I've come to appreciate a label-less me. It just makes writing biographies and descriptions of myself difficult. ;)