No matter the circumstances, every song has meaning. Even if the author denies creativity or lack of interest, the creation still has meaning to those who appreciate it. A song inevitably and eternally becomes a piece of at least one person's life. Words in themselves can have so many meanings to one person let alone many. I'm finding that some songs mean different things to me years later. (Am I ahead of the game or behind? Or right where I'm supposed to be?) There are songs I didn't enjoy when I was young, but now find intriguing and vice versa.
I find that I'm now less self-centered and more self-aware. My world has grown, but grown smaller. I try to understand myself, because it's the only thing that helps me to understand others. Billions of people in the world, and what is it all for? I used to wonder how I could connect with others. Is it a matter of who has suffered the most? Commanded the most? Experienced the most? Loved the most? No. Not at all. Simply realizing that there is already a bond older than time itself is the first step. My conscious mind finds small things I can quickly endear to aid in meeting "new" people, but ultimately I don't need to do this because I already know them. I know everyone.
But,
Even as secure as it feels to know everyone, an antagonist still has its part. Balance can only exist when there are two halves. The only control we have is whether we are good or evil. Our actions are our own.
Sep 24, 2008
Sep 19, 2008
All my life
I know exactly what to do.
My hands move calmly,
truth within my grip.
I have a part to play.
I'm guided by forces unseen,
yet we seem to work in tandem.
I trust it with my life
for from it I have come.
Why do some fight it?
Or think it to be false?
How can they not trust
the feeling that's inside of us?
temperate and resolute
it gives me all I need
just, intrepid, distant
I will go home again
My hands move calmly,
truth within my grip.
I have a part to play.
I'm guided by forces unseen,
yet we seem to work in tandem.
I trust it with my life
for from it I have come.
Why do some fight it?
Or think it to be false?
How can they not trust
the feeling that's inside of us?
temperate and resolute
it gives me all I need
just, intrepid, distant
I will go home again
Sep 16, 2008
It comes again
I didn't want to leave
grant me wisdom
stand beside you
waiting was the hardest
alone
why
my faith
sleeping
fear
back to back
we stand
bracing
fighting
always beside you
blockade
obstacle
trip hazard
radical
fear
darkness
unexpected
unwritten
undone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't help but think--should I be doing this?
grant me wisdom
stand beside you
waiting was the hardest
alone
why
my faith
sleeping
fear
back to back
we stand
bracing
fighting
always beside you
blockade
obstacle
trip hazard
radical
fear
darkness
unexpected
unwritten
undone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't help but think--should I be doing this?
Sep 15, 2008
Lyrics Inspire
I am all alone this time around
I'm not all here, I've been told, and I believe this. Others must believe it too, feel it as I do. There are memories behind walls we cannot breach. Pieces of ourselves have been locked away. They call to us, yet we do not listen. Many of us never even sense them. Yet there is an emptiness that nothing in this life can fill. Instead we "live our lives to the fullest" believing the faith we find in this life can help us mend the severed ends of ourselves--cut from the memory of who we have been, of what we were. Time is happening, reality is happening, again and again. We simply do not remember; we have not been allowed to remember.
I'm not all here, I've been told, and I believe this. Others must believe it too, feel it as I do. There are memories behind walls we cannot breach. Pieces of ourselves have been locked away. They call to us, yet we do not listen. Many of us never even sense them. Yet there is an emptiness that nothing in this life can fill. Instead we "live our lives to the fullest" believing the faith we find in this life can help us mend the severed ends of ourselves--cut from the memory of who we have been, of what we were. Time is happening, reality is happening, again and again. We simply do not remember; we have not been allowed to remember.
Illusions
See the animal in his cage that you built,
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye,
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built,
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart,
And it's all... right where it belongs
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head?
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead
And you're really all alone
You can live in this illusion,
You can choose to believe.
You keep looking but you can't find the woods,
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't listen to this song last week without bawling my eyes out. "INFJ's seek the melancholy." Why is this true? Why do I want to dig and find whatever sadness is lurking in my subconscious? I can't imagine what I would be like if I was some other INFJ. I at least have something from the past to focus on. Waking up in the middle of the night scared to death, crying at the sound of TK's breathing. I'm starting to think that maybe no matter what happens I'll never understand these things as long as I'm here. At least not as much as I want to. But maybe I can understand as much as I need to..."keep an open mind."
I had an odd dream last night. Most of it was inspired by watching too much X-Files. What struck me as odd was running around telling all the inhabitants of my dream that I was pregnant. That too was X-Files inspired, but it's just lingering with me today. (As is talking to two young shirtless David Duchovny twins with deep scars/incisions all over their chests like they were golems or something *shudder*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[9:49am] I feel terribly compelled to write...but I don't know what about...maybe I need to take some time and just ramble...? Sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of spilling a lifetime's worth of memories onto a page, but when I look to it, it's gone. (I always feel the need to do this while I'm at work, early in the day, rarely when I'm at home.) Guess I try too hard?
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye,
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built,
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart,
And it's all... right where it belongs
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head?
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead
And you're really all alone
You can live in this illusion,
You can choose to believe.
You keep looking but you can't find the woods,
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't listen to this song last week without bawling my eyes out. "INFJ's seek the melancholy." Why is this true? Why do I want to dig and find whatever sadness is lurking in my subconscious? I can't imagine what I would be like if I was some other INFJ. I at least have something from the past to focus on. Waking up in the middle of the night scared to death, crying at the sound of TK's breathing. I'm starting to think that maybe no matter what happens I'll never understand these things as long as I'm here. At least not as much as I want to. But maybe I can understand as much as I need to..."keep an open mind."
I had an odd dream last night. Most of it was inspired by watching too much X-Files. What struck me as odd was running around telling all the inhabitants of my dream that I was pregnant. That too was X-Files inspired, but it's just lingering with me today. (As is talking to two young shirtless David Duchovny twins with deep scars/incisions all over their chests like they were golems or something *shudder*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[9:49am] I feel terribly compelled to write...but I don't know what about...maybe I need to take some time and just ramble...? Sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of spilling a lifetime's worth of memories onto a page, but when I look to it, it's gone. (I always feel the need to do this while I'm at work, early in the day, rarely when I'm at home.) Guess I try too hard?
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