To Remember

Even after dawn the memories pull at me--a dream deferred. Their cloudy images have lost description and purpose, but the feelings linger. Determination, terror, sacrifice, unconditional love. Love. Words cannot do justice to that love. I was born to love. I killed and was killed for that love.

What do these memories mean to me? They feel like a security blanket, a beacon. An old friend. An aspiration. A hole, a wound, a tugging string. A soft wind, a blade of grass, calm water, the warmest touch. Harsh blades, harsher words, unjust intentions. They are balance. They are a world forgotten, yet they are a part of everything.

What was is now gone. What will be has been written.

Some feelings cannot be shared. I cannot express the longing I feel to be complete again and understand the past.