Oct 22, 2010

Strange Dreams

They warn women that rising anxiety and hormonal shifts during late third trimester can cause strange dreams. Mine have been relatively normal except for last night.

I was living in a small ranch house by myself. A gruff, evil man I did not know broke into my house and held me hostage there. I couldn't leave. I couldn't call for help. I couldn't overpower or outsmart him. He didn't physically abuse me, but I remember feeling oppressed. I felt myself succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome. I found myself feeling attracted to him even though I knew he had a different agenda. At one point my parents came to the house, and I let them in. They took some shopping bags into a back room, and I tried to tell them to call 911, but nothing would come out of my mouth. Later once my mom realized he was there, I told her, "We have to leave. We have to get out." She looked at me with tears in her eyes, "We'll die." At that point, I woke up.

I whined. I didn't feel upset to the point of tears, but I felt terrible that I couldn't figure out what to do. I was disappointed. Thankfully Travis must have sensed that and was really comforting even before I could mention that I had a bad dream. I still feel disappointed in myself. I took no actions and stagnated rather than make a move.