Jan 19, 2010

The Choices We Make

"There's only one thing in life you can be sure of: you will die. Once you are born and take your first breath, you begin to die. You have to be prepared at all times." While several of my coworkers scoffed at the 70-year-old contractor for blatantly spouting the "fact of life" as he called it, I smiled thoughtfully in my office. I knew he was right.

One of the young ladies was taken aback and proclaimed, "How negative! I don't think of life that way." "You might want to start thinking about it.You might even go before I do! I'll be ready to go when my time comes." This came from a man who has worked almost every day in his adult life. "You people who work here need vacations. I don't need 'em, cause I don't work. If you don't enjoy what you do, it's work. I enjoy what I do so it's not work. Life is beautiful." After several more minutes, the lady received a phone call, so the contractor said his goodbyes. She protested, but he insisted that he had to continue on with his day. He told her in one last jibe, "I'll be going so you can have a good day." True enough, I think she'll have something to think about the rest of the day.

This is one of the last places I expected to hear this type of conversation. But of course, at the end of the day, anyone can be enlightened. There is always a choice.

Jan 15, 2010

Need to Let Go...Again

Boy, did I get upset yesterday over nothing. Thankfully, an article I read this morning gave me the perspective I needed to regain-- "The Illusion of Need". I let my happiness be determined by the outcome of something I have no control over. For a short while I was even worried that I had been ignoring problems when the truth is that I was inventing problems to worry about! I became stuck on something that I had no control over instead of concerning myself with what I can definitely control: my attitude.

Focus: I will remember to enjoy the moment that I am in. I will pour my passion into creativity and exploration. I will be present and let go of the attachment of how things need to look. When an outcome does not go as planned, I will not suffer. I will face the unknown with love because there is nothing to fear.

Jan 13, 2010

To Remember Love and Light

For a while now I've been reading many articles by Erin Pavlina. Recently, several of her articles as well as other experiences I've been having have all just clicked. I can relate to a lot of what she has written, and I find myself inspired and validated by her blog. We are here to learn, grow, and experience. We are all connected. We are all part of the same whole. When we die, we return home to the rest of our higher self (yay!). Memories are hidden from us behind a barrier while we are here. (It's normal, not malicious.) I've always felt the gravity of good and evil and desired to help good control balance.

I know that I am here to help others remember. Remember love. When I was an adolescent, on what I thought was a lark, I remember thinking that I was put here "to help others know love." Periodically I've thought about that, always feeling differently about it. At first I thought it was romantic love (teenagers, sigh) which lead me to desire--after a horrible break up--shutting myself away in a box so that I might never hurt anyone again. I fell into such a deep depression that it took me a while to let myself be loved after that. My self-esteem was shattered, and I felt lower than the lowest living thing possible. I fell into a rebound relationship thinking I was ready to be loved again by someone who seemed knowledgeable on matters of the spirit, but I almost went too far with the relationship. I almost walked willingly off a cliff into the arms of something negative and undesirable. During that relationship, I found the soul I had really been looking for, and it turns out I had known him for years.

That experience opened my eyes to many memories that I'd been looking for. Those memories and my purpose had been seeping through to me for years, but I had brushed much of it off discounting its relevance. It's even taken me over six years to prepare myself to discover my true purpose. I had to raise my state of consciousness to better reconcile the information I remembered. I used to feel worried, isolated, even arrogant and self-righteous at times because I remembered memories from a past life.

Now I know that it's more important than ever to love unconditionally. It's what I've chosen before, and I want to do it again. Even if I can only reach one person the rest of my life, I want to help them remember the love that is with them. It will be a slow process as I'm not sure yet how I will reach people, but I am confident that I can live my outer life congruently with my inner life.

Focus: I vow to do my best to love unconditionally and live consciously. I resolve to forgive myself and others for mistakes and continue to share love and postive energy. We are all here to learn and grow, and I will do what I can to live up to my potential and help others to do the same as they walk their own paths.