When Insides are Out

fa·tal·ism
n.

1. The doctrine that all events are predetermined by fate and are therefore unalterable.
2. Acceptance of the belief that all events are predetermined and inevitable.

fa·tal·ist
n.

1. One who maintains that all things happen by inevitable necessity.
2. Anyone who submits to the belief that they are powerless to change their destiny.

That's not how I want to feel...

Every action scratches me. Downtrodden. Each sound is noise in my ears. My every thought seethes. Calm waters seem like shattering glass. Familiar words razors. I want to shut myself behind a door where no one else can go. It wells not from hate or paranoia, but from raw exposure. I awoke bruised and ripped. From what I know not, but I need to retreat and heal. Lest I damage myself more.

The whole of me sits upon my lap in plain view. I cannot protect it. I cannot hide it.

I feel brash, rude, and uncalled for.

I feel no need to apologize.

I feel useless.

That's not how I want to feel...

In Between

It was so long
with no movement
the seas still
no hole to fill
a world eternal, unflawed
so perfect...

silent
untouched

emotion is born
the world ripped apart